How one can be living the dream yet dealing with such large amounts of inner turmoil is unbelievable. I am the epitome of self will run riot. But I’ve packaged it up nicely. From the outside everything looks okay but inside I am so disconnected. My smile feels off and weak. My pain is pouring through my veins. I can feel it all too much. No amount of avoidance is working to relieve me of the constant awareness. The pain is all too present. I just want this to stop.

Two trips to NY in the making. End of June and early July. Nothing short of Grace and Mercy baby. It’s all coming together beautifully and I’m so happy to be a part of this.

Every part of me wants to be back in New York. Every part of me wants to let go of the things that I’m slowly losing my grip on anyway. I’m barely being held here. I’m being called by music in the subway tunnels, blankets and sun in the park. I want so badly to grab a backpack and just leave. This feeling is so hard to shake.